Buying & Owning
Stuff may not be the most descriptive term, but that hasn’t stopped comedians, philosophers, and everyone in between from talking about it and our relationship to “stuff” for several decades now. Most everyone in my (relatively narrow) circles has heard of Marie Kondo. She is a best-selling Japanese author and television personality who encourages people to declutter their lives. Her method can be summarized as only owning things that “spark joy.” Although it is very amusing that Marie Kondo now sells storage solutions in collaboration with the Container Store, her approach and its check on material accumulation has struck a real nerve. It is painfully clear that the global consumer society—including you and I—have a problem. I’m not talking about environmental and social damage; we are complicit in that separate problem. We have an unhealthy and deteriorating relationship with stuff. But how do we restore a healthy balance? In this discussion I present principles that will, insha’Allah, improve our consumer behavior.
Buy Less, Buy Better
The idea that we should buy less but better things has become a truism in menswear communities. It is self-explanatory, and to me, an obvious concept. Would you rather own five pairs of cheap loafers from Aldo or one pair of better looking and better-quality loafers from Carlos Santos? I would much rather own one nicer pair, which will not only last longer but also look better, than many cheaper pairs. This approach, of course, comes from a position of privilege. I’m not a teenager getting his first job who needs to buy several dress shirts because he doesn’t own any. But if you already have covered your needs and can afford to spend more, you will be better served by doing so.
Bang for Buck
When I first got into clothes, I bought clothes only if I thought I was getting a good deal. At the start of college, I did a ton of online reading before deciding to order a fully-canvased, custom suit for $500 from Thick as Thieves LA. I made that purchase because I believed it was the best price-to-quality option on the market. I continue to care and think about value-for-money when I buy something, but its importance to me has declined. One reason is because I have been blessed to accumulate nicer and nicer things; the farther up the spectrum I go, the more minute the quality differences. The economic law of diminishing returns applies to clothing. The differences between $60 Aldo shoes and $300 Carlos Santos shoes are stark. The differences between $300 Carlos Santos shoes and $500 Carmina shoes are much less so. In shoes specifically, Kirby Allison does some ridiculous but useful videos in which he compares shoes at different price points. Price is imperfectly correlated with quality. The relationship is a curve that flattens at the top. Moreover, quality does not have a singular definition. Some of the finest wools are very expensive but actually very delicate.
Good, Fast, Cheap
Back when I was really getting into clothes as a cash-strapped college student, I came across Jesse Thorn’s great blog post that applied the mantra “Good, Fast, Cheap” to menswear. The concept is simple: you can have only two of the three. If you want good and fast, it will be expensive. If you want good and cheap, it will be slow. You cannot have fast, good and cheap together. Pay up at full retail if you absolutely must get the item you desire immediately. Or wait for sales while scouring secondhand options in search of a lower price. Amusingly, bespoke tailoring is good, expensive and slow! It presents a great example of delayed gratification.
Buy What You Like
Getting value for your money matters. But if you’re buying something because it’s a nice-to-have, not a need-to-have, you should buy what you like. I love the look of St. Crispin’s split-doe derbies; but, the shoes cost $1500 and I don’t have the stomach to pay for them. Similar models are available for $300-500 from a variety of respectable shoemakers. However, I am not going to buy any of the more affordable alternatives. Why? Because I know they will not satisfy my long-held desire for the St. Crispin’s! If you buy a cheaper alternative to what you really want, you may ultimately find yourself buying the real thing, anyway. You may end up spending more money for less satisfaction. Moreover, if you consider the items you already own, you will realize that you have stuff that you love and wear frequently as well as things you sort of like and wear rarely. If you’re going to spend money, buy something that you really like and will continue to get satisfaction from. Buy and own stuff with emotional durability.
Pay Your School Fees
In the Armoury’s new series of YouTube videos, Mark Cho mentions that he needs to buy a watch and own it for some period of time before deciding if he really likes it. I disliked that idea when at first because it suggests you need to spend money acquiring something to assess how much you will appreciate it. The more I thought about it, however, the more I came to embrace Mark’s sensibility. If you look at a sweater online or even in store, it might look great, feel nice, and fit well. But a few weeks after taking it home, you might find that you are never reaching to put it on. Mark explains this phenomenon with a Chinese proverb that roughly translates to “pay your school fees:” sometimes you need to spend in order to learn. The “mistakes” can be expensive, but if they really teach you to only own what you will really appreciate for a long time, then it will be well-worth it.
Put This On’s Jesse Thorn wrote another terrific post on shopping back in 2009, in which he shares several foundational principles for how to shop. The core idea I want to rehash here is to shop smart. Plan what you want long ahead so that you avoid impulse buying, acquire the items that will add the most value to your life, and spend more efficiently. I maintain an Airtable of my closet as well as an Airtable wishlist. At another time I will share the templates and explain my process, but the core reason I have them is to make sure I think intentionally about what I already own and what could make sense to buy or sell.
Create a System
I am a naturally systematic thinker with a strong bias towards analytical methods and logical consistency. I find it immensely helpful to establish an objective, rules-based system for my ownership of things, and I think there are several popular guidelines that would benefit most people. For example, one-in-one-out. This rule is largely self-explanatory: if you add a watch to your collection you must also offload one. Another is that if you don’t use something for one-year, you must offload it (perhaps with exception for occasion pieces like a tux). Similar to how I wrote out my first principles, I am going to write out my system’s rules. I encourage you to do so as well.
In closing, I urge you to think critically and intentionality about your relationship with stuff. Do you own too much? Are you an impulsive online shopper? Is owning too much stuff cluttering your life? Objects have the power to improve your life and provide some joy. Objects also have the power to distract and depress. God willing you will benefit if you positively change your behavior in relation to stuff.